Fem-i-nine
1. Adjective- having qualities or an appearance traditionally associated with women.
"a feminine frilled blouse"
2. GRAMMAR- of or denoting a gender of nouns and adjectives, conventionally regarded as female.​
01
You are what you are not
- unlearning
I began this journey from a perspective of redefining. I have always identified with an image of a woman that can do it all and isn't afraid to get a little dirty or scratched up. I grew up idealizing this image, and while I have nothing currently against that, somewhere along the ways of growing up and absorbing ideas, texts and perspective of others, that image morphed into an "alpha" female. From that point on.. everything became.. well.. what its not.. and quite honestly, the opposite of what I truly was after.
02
Feminism is not feminine
- redefining
Feminism defined is literally- (noun) the advocacy of women's rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes.
Being that it is a political therm, here is the political implication,
Feminism is a range of socio-political movements and ideologies that aim to define and establish the political, economic, personal, and social equality of the sexes. Feminism incorporates the position that societies prioritize the male point of view, and that women are treated unjustly within those societies.
With this being the case, I am not implying there is anything wrong with advocating for equal rights, or fighting against the norm which prioritizes the male point of view over the female one, What I am saying, is that one term is not interchangeable with the other. This is what can quickly become a dangerous swap.
03
Process of elimination
-seeing clear
What did I eliminate exactly then?
EVERYTHING.
Well, everything** Essentially anything I don't know the exact definition for, is gone. Like, I am an empowered female, means I feel I have power. I am an alpha female, means I am.. alpha like? what exactly do I mean by alpha though? that I am a great leader? that I am able to work independently? That I dominant? I don't know! it could be al sorts of things.
OUT.
Because I very much do not aspire to be alone or be dominant.
So essentially, every female/feminine/feminist cliche, I threw it out.
04
Growing what is good
-truly powerful
What do I define as feminine then?
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ANYthing and EVERYthing that is female.
I am finding that the more cliches I do away with, the more I strip it down to the true essentials. (In MY perspective)
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There is something so powerful in being female so much so, that I do not aspire to be man like or equal to. I love being soft, and emotional, and nurturing and loving and caring for myself and yes, a lot of the double standards, not all of them, there are some that I don't feel are safe.. but I'll get into that on another post.
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I love the differences between a man and a woman. I love the idea of finding a partner that will be an alpha and I will be safe in following where he leads. I love the idea of motherhood. I love the idea of being thought of as feminine.
Being feminine is not ONLY that, I still love what I love, but it is also being all of those feminine qualities proudly, without feeling like somehow they are the cause for me being thought of as less than a man. Being feminine is not having to compare myself to a man, because I am not competing with or trying to be a man, I am different than a man. And that is not a negative.
